Conflicts, Paradoxes and Absurdities

I am aware I am walking the right path;

I am sure I have lost my way forever

I am aware there is a God in heavens;

I am sure I have lost my faith however

Conflicts rage between me and myself;

contradictions, both stupid and clever

 

I am aware I have abundant desires;

I am sure the ambition died long ago

I am aware I am alive and breathing;

I know I am all dead inside though

Battles are fought between me and myself;

battles cold and violent, blood on snow

 

I am aware I am warm and so very kind;

I am sure I am hard and cruel to the bone

I am aware I love everyone around me;

I am sure I carry the load, hatred alone

Denials have ruled my life since ever;

the bitter seeds that I have so often sown

 

I am aware I can be better if I make a try;

I am sure all my efforts are but futile

I am aware the fate will certainly be dark;

I am sure looking for any light is inutile

Paradoxes sometimes characterize my person;

all enigmas and absurdities, up they pile

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