The Pessimistic Optimist

I am a believer

and an optimist too

My sight is full of colors

and vision vibrates with pleasure

Yet the mood remains;

the darkest shade of blue

 

I turn the pages

of the musty book of memories

Dead butterflies flutter away,

rainbows riding the sun beams

I remember everything;

the trust and not the treacheries

 

I push open

the window of the past

I bask in the warmth of love;

secure in the womb of childhood

I recall everything;

the first and not the last

 

I am a believer

and an optimist too

The glass always seems

half filled to me

Each episode of darkness

sighs with the promise of light

Yet the shadow lingers;

the shadow that I always drew

 

I am a believer

and an optimist too

I caress dead birds in my old hands

and see them flying away

I see them vanish over the horizon;

warm life beating in their tiny hearts

Yet the pain persists;

the pain that I always knew

 

I am a believer

and an optimist too

I travel new paths;

of the forbidden forests

The spirit of adventure;

excites me and intrigues me

Yet the guilt lives on;

the guilt, both old and new

 

I am a skeptic

and a pessimist too

As dreams are just the figments

of my tired imagination

And optimism,  just a seductive prelude

to bitter reality and chaos

Yet the hope survives;

the hope for rain and sparkling dew

 

I am a skeptic

and a pessimist too

As colors fade quickly;

and pleasures dissolve away

The wings of dead butterflies;

never flutter with new life

Yet the joy lives on;

the joy I find in the vibrant hues

 

I am a skeptic

and a pessimist too

As old love is too cold;

and the glasses are always half empty

The darkness is always so lonely;

and dead birds never fly again

Yet the bliss surrounds me;

the bliss of knowing, the false and the true