I want a knife;

the sharpest,

of all the knives in the world

The knife with an ivory grip;

and a gleaming edge;

engraved with obscure ruins

 

I want to plunge it

in my middle;

and slice it across

Cutting open my belly;

savoring the soothing pain;

smelling the oozing blood

 

The steaming guts will spill out;

and so will the coldness

I want to see it,

the coldness inside

I so want to face it,

the darkness within

 

I want to feel its texture;

the ice-cold mercury;

that makes up my core

I so want to sense its force;

the powerful darkness;

vibrating in my being

 

I want to question it;

the unanswered questions;

forever silent but hanging in balance

I want to challenge it;

the reservoirs of courage;

forever loud but hollow

 

Why are you here?

Why do you reside within me?

Are you a despising lover,

who hates me with a vengeance?

Or are you an affectionate enemy,

who loves me for my weaknesses?