The Tiring Masquerade

You will never really know who I am in fact;

I may laugh my head off or even if I may cry

You will never really know who I am in real;

how deep you look or how hard you may try

I always wear a mask, I don’t reveal myself;

I lurk behind the shadows, I hide so very well

You will never look into my heart or my soul;

well-guarded, you will never get past the shell

I don’t hide because I am evil or that I am bad;

oh that too I am, a grey mix of shadows and light

I hide as the care is reciprocal, there is no love;

I hide as there is only business, wrong or right

I am both dead and alive, delusional and aware;

I am both yes and no, conflict and eternal strife

Delusions of grandeur and an awareness of life;

conflict of desires and the struggle – a sharp knife

You will never find me, a fact that I am so sure of;

it’s not a challenge, just a statement and so very true

You will never find me, is a fact that so frightens me;

you will never love me, is a truth that I always knew

Life is a long masquerade, so very long and tiring;

the end might be near, it’s awaited and so certain

The desperation is real, it’s sad and so depressing;

there is no hope, about time to drop the curtain