An intimate confession from behind a carefully guarded shell.

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You will never really know how I really feel;

I may laugh my head off, or even if I may cry

You will never really know who I am in real;

no matter how long and how hard you may try

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I always wear a mask, I never reveal my true self;

I lurk behind the shadows, I hide myself so very well

You will never guess who I am – a human or an elf;

I am so well-guarded, you’ll never get past the shell

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I do not hide because I am pure evil or a white dove;

perhaps I am a mix of dark shadows and bright light

I hide because the care is selfish, and there is no love;

I hide as there is only business, maybe wrong, maybe right

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I am both dead and alive, both delusional and aware;

I am both yes and no, some conflict and some strife

Delusions of grandeur and an awareness of what’s fair;

conflicting desires and the chaos inflicted by a dull knife

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That you will never find me, it’s a fact, and a promise too;

it’s not a challenge, just a statement and so very true

That you will never discover me, it’s not just my view;

and that you will never love me, is a truth that I always knew 

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Life is a long masquerade, it’s so very long and so tiring;

that the end might be near, it’s awaited and so very certain

The desperation is real, it’s so sad and so very depressing;

that there is no hope, it’s about time to drop the curtain