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The Clown who Fell in Love and lost his Laughter
He made the world laugh—until love took his laughter away.
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Let me tell you all a short and sad story,
a story so hilarious, yet so painful and gory
Let me tell you about a simple and good clown,
who just performed, and wasn’t interested in glory
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He worked in a famous and grand circus,
so grand, it made all a little bit nervous
The circus encompassed all entertainment,
having just one rhyme, and one single purpose
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The famed circus was just focused on fun,
ignoring all sadness, it was so fixated on pun
It abhorred all darkness in favor of bright light,
it chose to ignore the night; it worshipped the sun
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The clown was so happy, but only on the outside,
his eyes told the cruel truth, while his smile only lied
Riding the high waves of senseless mirth and joy,
his sadness was a hidden and silently breathing tide
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Masking his sadness with a smile so open and bright,
was something he had learnt just like a true knight
Being unhappy inside, yet always beaming with joy,
was an art he had practiced hard, each day and each night
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His act drew huge crowds, and it made people laugh,
being fired from a cannon, his act was only a gaffe
He flew across the pavilion, landing safely on a net,
the kind cannon, thankfully, did not cut him in half
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One day, while the clown was performing his act,
he saw a lovely vision, no dream but a glaring fact
She was an acrobat who swam gracefully in the air,
her magical eyes avoiding his, making no contact
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The clown grabbed his chest, lowering his guard,
about to explode, his heart throbbing so very hard
Unbeknownst to his senses, he had fallen in love,
but it wasn’t beautiful, the reality was all scarred
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He watched the girl for long, savoring her image,
vision overwhelmed, his senses taxing his courage
What to do and how to do? He thought so hard,
his sanity in wild chaos, all thoughts in scrimmage
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So many days had passed, she occupied his mind,
so many nights had passed, his fate was all signed
His heart was wrecked forever; there wasn’t a way,
love is neither a salvation nor is it always kind
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Then one fateful day, the clown decided to act,
approaching the girl bravely, he forgot all tact
‘I love you’ - he just blurted out the three words,
like he was just finishing the draft of a pact
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She looked at him for long and then laughed out loud,
‘I waited for love so long and ignored the whole crowd’
She looked at him with distaste and said the cruel words,
‘look how God punishes me for being so damn proud’
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‘A clown, He sends me?’ She looked up at the sky,
‘A clown, He sends me!’ She then started to cry
‘Why am I so unfortunate?’ She questioned herself;
‘Why a clown was to love me?’ She regretted with a sigh
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‘I love you and want to make you happy,’ he said;
‘I love you and want to save you from pain and dread
Don’t doubt my words, my love, for they are all true
I will serve and love you till I stop living, and fall dead’
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‘You will never stay by my side; I banish you forever ‘
She said after a while, in a steady voice, no single tremor
‘I cannot bear your ugly presence, I do not want you here,
‘I can never love you back - you may cry, or you may act clever’
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The clown just bent his head; he could not see a way,
but something just broke inside him that fateful day
The clown lost all his laughter; he lost all his smiles,
his face was still painted, the reds hiding the grey
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He started dying inside on that day and thereafter,
being neither ever wanted nor much sought after
And on his gravestone it is written, as I have heard,
‘Here lies the clown who fell in love and lost his laughter’
The Tiring Masquerade
An intimate confession from behind a carefully guarded shell.
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You will never really know how I really feel;
I may laugh my head off, or even if I may cry
You will never really know who I am in real;
no matter how long and how hard you may try
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I always wear a mask, I never reveal my true self;
I lurk behind the shadows, I hide myself so very well
You will never guess who I am – a human or an elf;
I am so well-guarded, you’ll never get past the shell
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I do not hide because I am pure evil or a white dove;
perhaps I am a mix of dark shadows and bright light
I hide because the care is selfish, and there is no love;
I hide as there is only business, maybe wrong, maybe right
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I am both dead and alive, both delusional and aware;
I am both yes and no, some conflict and some strife
Delusions of grandeur and an awareness of what’s fair;
conflicting desires and the chaos inflicted by a dull knife
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That you will never find me, it’s a fact, and a promise too;
it’s not a challenge, just a statement and so very true
That you will never discover me, it’s not just my view;
and that you will never love me, is a truth that I always knew
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Life is a long masquerade, it’s so very long and so tiring;
that the end might be near, it’s awaited and so very certain
The desperation is real, it’s so sad and so very depressing;
that there is no hope, it’s about time to drop the curtain
The Inevitability of Sorrow (Previosuly, Seeds of Happiness and Fruits of Sorrow)
What if happiness is only the beginning of sorrow?
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All those who cultivate seeds of happiness,
will one day surely, eat the bitter fruit of sorrow
It’s your destiny, and your legacy, my dear child,
just follow your past, don’t seek a new tomorrow
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All those who know how to love and how to care,
will one day surely meet a sad and lonely end
It’s bound to happen, oh please don’t weep or cry,
it’s not something broken that you can readily mend
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All those who dance, and who laugh clear and loud,
will one day surely shed the bitter tears of loss
It’s the rule, my friend, you can’t run and fight,
you always pay the price, you always bear the cross
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All those who forgive and carry no black grudge,
will one day mourn the loss of their own hearts
You can’t keep on giving, giving more and some more,
there’re always expectations, even when hope departs
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Those who plan and cater for all possible regrets,
will certainly be the most regretful of all in the end
Regrets are the fires that keep the memories warm,
without regrets, there’s only coldness, you can’t tend
To Him who Cared to Give a Fuck
This is what happens when kindness is wasted, loyalty is ignored, and patience snaps.
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To you, my friend, who cared to give a fuck,
to you, my friend, who chose to care for all
None of your fucks ever mattered,
none of them were counted at all
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For God’s sake, don’t be so fucking sad,
you just gave a fuck and not your whole life
For Heaven’s sake, your fuck wasn’t even that good,
it was a dull blade at the most, not even a sharp knife
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You think you just gave a fuck or two,
and they were all that were ever needed?
You believe even if you gave countless fucks,
were they all the shit that you ever ceded?
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You and your countless stupid fucks,
both be damned to the red hell and back
All the damn fucks you ever cared to give,
and the fucks you didn’t ever try to crack
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Keep your fuck and keep it hidden and safe,
it is not needed at all, in fact, it never was
Keep your fucking love and keep it with you,
it is not valued at all; in fact, it never was
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To all your fucks, only a ‘fuck you’ is granted,
and that too is a generosity beyond words
You deserved less, and you got far, far more,
only cause you ain’t complete but in sherds
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To you, my friend, who cared to give a fuck,
to you, my friend, who chose to care for all
None of your fucks ever mattered,
none of them were counted at all
Shehryar khawar 