In the Memory of Wolves & Gypsies

The ancient gods woke from stone to answer my questions about wolves and gypsies, then fell silent again—having shown me humanity’s unforgivable crimes.

A haunting narrative poem about encountering ancient stone gods atop the Bostan mountain, who come alive to share their grief over humanity’s destruction of wild freedom. Through smoking rings and shared sorrow, the gods reveal the fate of the great grey wolves—hunted to extinction—and the nomadic gypsies—persecuted until their music died forever.


I saw them once, the ancient gods,

majestic in stone, holding their golden rods

They were sitting atop the Bostan mountain,

laughing and drinking from an olden fountain

They were there, bathing in the golden light,

knitting random clouds - grey and stark white


I begged for attention, and their laughter froze,

they all looked down and beckoned me close

‘Come sit with us, child, let us smoke for a while,

for you have travelled far, a lonely prince in exile

Your face looks young, yet your eyes look old,

sparkling with a hunger for knowledge and not gold’


I sat with them and smoked for long,

I drank with them and rang their gong

Our rings of smoke danced and played games,

while a great fire burned, the wind stoking its flames

I loved their company and heard their tales,

I walked with them and traced their memory trails


‘Pray tell me, O godsyou are ancient and so old,

where are the wolves, the dwellers of dark and cold?

The wolves that howled, the wolves that reigned,

who loved their freedom and could never be chained?

One could smell their shaggy fur and see their burning eyes,

riding the northern winds, howling their haunting cries’


On hearing my question, the old gods grew all sad,

their mirth grew cold, and their eyes were no more glad

‘The great grey wolves, who were so grand and so bold,

whose stories were woven and were repeatedly told?

The wolves have long gone, their howls are silent forever,

they were hunted by your kind, so merciless and so clever’


We smoked some more and blew more rings,

and thought of death, the end of kings

We drank some more and drank our fill,

and thought of time, our hearts so still

Our sadness made us silent, and our silence ruled the day,

respecting all the dead wolves, our laughter held at bay


‘Pray tell me, O godsso ancient and so wise,

where are the gypsies, with their wild, green eyes?

The ever-free gypsies, who roamed and ruled the plains,

and their powerful shamans, who could call the rains?

I can smell their fires and I can hear their harps,

their songs echoing loudly, rolling down the scarps’


On hearing my question, the old gods grew all silent,

their silence grew somber, and the wind turned violent

‘You ask of the gypsies, who once roamed the great plains,

with wings under their feet, they who hated all chains?

The gypsies have long gone, their music is dead forever,

persecuted by your kind, you have no tolerance whatsoever’


Hearing their accusing answers, seeing the real truth,

tears filled my eyes, and I forgot my own youth

‘If the gypsies have all left and the wolves have all gone,

why are you still here, with your faces sad and drawn?

If the howls are no more and the music is all dead,

why are you still here, with eyes filled with dread?’


The gods fell quiet, with their whispers all hushed,

I looked at them in farewell, my spirits all crushed

I intended to apologize, I wanted to seek forgiveness,

I wanted to just leave, ending all business

On the rich canvas of life, I saw my race, a stain,

but the old gods had all turned to stone again

The Anatomy of Longing

What if longing wasn’t a feeling—but a creature, a curse, and a companion?

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Longing is an ache - a deep pulsating ache,

relief is an effort, which the ache cruelly cripples

Throwing a single stone and troubling a silent lake,

creating countless circles - outspreading ripples

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Longing walks a road - a long and lonely road,

sighing with each indulgence, so delicious is the sin

Tired and exhausted, longing bears its heavy load,

pleasure is the gain, a new loss with every new win

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Longing is the steel - the cold and heavy steel,

it is shackled to my feet, my bloody, blistered feet

Birthing countless agonies, the wounds that never heal,

I am addicted to its taste; the poison is so sweet

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Longing is a fragrance - an old, faded fragrance,

it’s embedded in my soul, my oh so tired soul

It rides the autumn wind, a bold and cruel flagrance,

engraved are the words, regrets on a scroll

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Longing is a swan - a floating black swan,

it sings a lullaby, a soft and sad lullaby

It is here for a minute, and then it is gone,

haunted is the tone, its verses all wry

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Longing is the darkness - a fearsome looming darkness,

it heralds the final doom, the black and grey doom

It really is a curse, so vivid in its starkness,

fear fills the sky, and hope cannot bloom

A nursery rhyme for adults

Down and down

in the deep dark void,

down and down we go

Helpless puppets

on unseen strings,

dancing to and fro


Read more: A nursery rhyme for adults

Down and down

in the deep dark void,

where all is dark and low

Rivers of sorrow

and the vales of loss,

all misery and woe


Down and down

in the deep dark void,

where all is grey and foe 

Soils are rotten 

and all decays,

whatever do you sow


Down and down

in the deep dark void,

where all is cold and snow

The chill of loss

and the sins you pursued,

regret is what you owe 


Down and down

in the deep dark void,

the face you never show

Mirrored are the walls 

the ugly truth,

a loathsome tableau


Down and down

in the deep dark void,

hides the lethal blow

The wind so strong   

the hope so gone,

the anchor you must throw


Down and down

in the deep dark void,

croaks the black crow

The end is nigh,  

judgment at hand,

but death will come so slow


#english #poem #end #darkness #hope #desperation #helplessness #regret

Self-flagellation: The Last Highway out of Hell

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This is not redemption—it is penance without absolution.

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He whips himself, he whips himself very hard,

his silent screams, hiding behind an ugly grimace

The cat-o’-nine-tails screams like a mad banshee,

the knots striking in a frenzy, a blood thirsty race

Each lash is a tribute, a homage to a specific memory,

a black hole in the whole black and vast space of life

Each stroke exposes a white pulsating nerve,

a silver snake writhing under a very sharp knife

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He hurts himself, he hurts himself so real bad,

drawing crimson patterns across his naked back

The skin breaks, and ruby drops appear one by one,

thickening, congealing, stinking, and turning black

The flow of blood sometimes turns into a rivulet,

drops transforming into streams, streams into creeks

Crimson spatters his bent shoulders and the spine,

tracing the paths of pain and the punishment it seeks

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He makes himself suffer; he suffers for very long,

feeling the whip slither within the stinking, thick slush

The skin is no more, his back is all but raw flesh,

but his overpowering regret, the whip fails to crush

‘Oh! Why do you punish, why do you hurt yourself?’

the Devil asks him with a mockingly soft sympathy

And God, He just turns his face away in disgust,

there is no place for him in His great hall of empathy

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‘I walk the path of pain, I have chosen it for myself,’

he answers and grips the whip firmly and caresses it

‘I penalize myself, I pass each judgment harshly,

I condemn myself; the fire of misery is always lit

Self-flagellation is my penance for sins so many or few,

it is a dark journey, and I have been travelling ever since

Self-flagellation is the last highway out of my own hell,

while my soul burns in agony, I remain the exiled prince’

The Stranger in the Mirror (Previously, Man in the Mirror)

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He’s convinced ‘his coming was an error’ that needs correcting without delay—this is what severe depression sounds like when it talks to itself in the mirror.

A harrowing poem structured as instructions to confront the stranger in your own reflection—a man consumed by self-hatred, failed dreams, and the conviction that his departure would strengthen those he leaves behind.

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Go look at him, look at his pale face in the mirror,

how loathsome it is and yet so strangely dear

Look at him for long, and observe very closely,

and find on it quietly lurking, a dark, crippling fear

The fear of failed dreams and the fear of total loss,

of a life utterly failed, and a death by greed’s spear

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Go talk to him, talk to his dark face in the mirror,

with all of its passive and violent aggression

Talk to him for long, and listen with patience,

you will hear his final words, his ugly confession

From where did he come, and where will he go,

he will speak of darkness, and his cold depression

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You hate him with a vengeance, the man in the mirror,

you look at him with vile pity, you feel utter disgust

You are sickened by what he has now become,

no principles, no morality, and a lack of total trust

You are offended by the choices that he has often made,

there is just reigning chaos, the scorching wind, and dust

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You are so disappointed in him, the man in the mirror,

you do not hope for miracles; there will be no redemption

You witness his devastation, his fate is not to blame,

he is dissolving fast, an intentional self-destruction

He is being blown away by the cruel gusts of time,

spite, self-loathing, dejection, and also some rejection

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Go question him, go ask the man in the mirror,

Does he really have to leave? There is no other way?

And he will tell you no, staying is no longer an option,

the sky is overcast, the clouds all heavy and grey

He has to leave now; his coming was an error,

without any hesitation, without the slightest delay

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Go tell him now, go tell the man in the mirror,

there are those, who need him to stay a little longer

And he will tell you no, he has to say his farewell,

his absence will be hurtful, but it will make them stronger

He has always lived like this, braving all his pains,

and they will live so too, no fear, they won’t conquer