وہ سردیوں کی ایک دھندلکی سپہر تھی اور میں اپنا کیمرہ کندھے پر لٹکائے اندرون شہر کی گنجان آباد گلیوں میں چکر لگا رہا تھا. بہت سے خوبصورت چہرے بھی نظر آئے؛ بہت حسین نقش و نگار والے دروازوں پر بھی نظر پڑی؛ کچھ مسکراہٹوں نے دل موہ لینے کی کوشش بھی کی؛ اور کچھ آنسوؤں نے قدم بھی تھامے. لیکن پتہ نہیں کیا بات تھی کہ میں اپنے کیمرے کا بٹن نہیں دبا سکا. دل پر عجیب اداسی چھائی ہوئی تھی
پھر موچی گیٹ کی بغل میں ایک نسبتاً تاریک اور تنگ سی گلی سے گزرتے ہوئے میری نظر اس بوڑھے کھلونا فروش پر پڑی. وہ ایک بند دروازے سے ٹیک لگائے نجانے کس گہری سوچ میں گم تھا
جس چیز نے مجھے زیادہ متوجوہ کیا وہ تھا اس بوڑھے کھلونا فروش کے پاس ہی دیوار سے ٹکا بانس سے بنا اسٹینڈ. ایک مرکزی عمودی بانس سے جڑے لکڑی کی کئ چھوٹی بڑی پھٹیاں تھیں جن سے پلاسٹک کے چھوٹے چھوٹے کھلونے لٹک رہے تھے
ایسے کھلونا فروش میں نے اپنے بچپن میں ہی دیکھے تھے. چھٹی والے دن اور خاص طور پر عید والے دنوں میں چکر لگاتے تھے. ان میں سے چاچا خیرو مجھے خوب یاد ہے جو مجھے پیار سے بیجو بابرا کہا کرتا تھا
.یہ تم ہر وقت کیا گنگناتے رہتے ہو کاکے؟’ ایک دن چاچا خیرو نے مجھ سے پوچھ ہی لیا’
مجھے دراصل بچپن ہی سے اپنے ہم عصروں سے مختلف نظر آنے کا شوق تھا. لہٰذا ان دنوں میں چھ سات سال کا ہونے کے باوجود کلاسیکی موسیقی میں دلچسپی لے رہا تھا
.جی راگ درگا چاچا جی.’ میں نے بے ساختہ جواب دیا تو وہ ایک دم ہنس پڑا’
‘راگ درگا؟ تم بچے ہو کہ بیجو بابرا؟’
اس دن سے میرا نام ہی چاچا خیرو نے بیجو بابرا رکھ دیا اور میں اس کا مستقل گاہک بن گیا. رنگ برنگی چیزیں ہوتی تھیں اس کے پاس. پلاسٹک کے باجے اور بانس کی پیپنیاں؛ ہلکی سی باریک باریک پہیوں والی چھوٹی چھوٹی گاڑیاں؛ سستی گڑیاں؛ پلاسٹک کے خوفناک ماسک؛ اور سفید سوتی ٹوپیاں جن کے ساتھ مصنوعی سفید داڑھی مونچھیں جڑی ہوتی تھیں. اب چاچا خیرو جیسے لوگ ڈھونڈنے سے بھی نظر نہیں آتے
میں ان کے پاس جا کر بیٹھ گیا
.چاچا جی؟’ میں نے ہلکے سے ان کو مخاطب کیا’
‘ہاں……کون؟’ انہوں نے آنکھیں کھول کر حیرانگی سے میری طرف دیکھا اور پھر مسکرا دیئے. ‘کہو بیٹے کیا چاہئے؟’
‘چاہئے تو کچھ نہیں….’ میں نے سر کھجاتے جواب دیا. ‘بس آپ پر نظر پڑی تو آپ سے بات کرنے کا دل کیا’
‘ضرور کرو بات بیٹے’
‘آپ کون ہیں چاچا جی؟’
.میں؟’ انہوں نے اپنے سینے کی طرف مسکرا کر انگلی سے اشارہ کیا’
‘میں ہوں اس شہر کا آخری خواب فروش’
.خواب فروش؟ آخری خواب فروش؟’ میں نے چونک کر پوچھا’
ہاں کھلونے خواب ہی تو ہوتے ہیں…چھوٹے چھوٹے معصوم اور رنگین خواب. میں یہ خواب بڑی محنت سے بنتا تھا اور پھر انہیں چاہنے والوں کے حوالے کر دیتا تھا
ان کی آنکھوں میں ایک عجیب سی یاسیت اتر آئ
.اب نا خواب دیکھنے والے رہے اور نا ان کھلونوں کو چاہنے والے.’ انہوں نے بےبسی سے ہاتھ ملتے ہوئے کہا’
‘جب خواب دیکھنے والے خواب ہی نا دیکھنا چاہیں، خوابوں میں یقین ہی نا رکھنا چاہیں تو ان کے رنگ بے معںی ہو جاتے ہیں’
.لیکن خواب تو ہمیشہ اہم ہی رہتے ہیں.’ میں نے حیرت سے پوچھا’
.یقین خواب کی روح ہوتی ہے بیٹے.’ چاچا جی نے میرے کندھے پر ہاتھ رکھ کر کہا’
‘یقین چلا جائے تو خوابوں کی کوئی اہمیت باقی نہیں رہتی’
ہم دونوں کچھ دیر خاموش بیٹھے رہے. وہ گلی بڑی عجیب تھی. جب سے میں آ کر وہاں بیٹھا تھا ویران پڑی تھی. دھوپ کا گزر غالباً بالکل ہی نہیں ہوتا تھا وہاں. اسلئے عجیب سبزی مائل پیلا سا رنگ تھا ماحول کا جیسے میں کسی پرانی تصویر کے اندر زندہ تھا اور سانس لے رہا تھا. پھر گلی کے بیچوں بیچ ایک نالی ضرور بہ رہی تھی لیکن بدبو کا دور دور تک کوئی شائبہ تک نہیں تھا. بلکہ میرے نتھنوں میں تو لکڑی کے فرنیچر کی، پنسلوں کی اور مہنگے ربڑوں کی خوشبو مہک رہی تھی. یوں لگتا تھا کہ میں پھر سے اپنے بچھڑے بچپن کے کسی ایک ثانیے میں سانس لے رہا تھا. رنگ بھی وہ ہی تھے اور خوشبویئں بھی وہ ہی، بس ماحول مختلف تھا
.یہ جادو کی چھڑی یاد ہے تمھیں؟’ چاچا جی نے ایک پلاسٹک کی چھڑی میری طرف بڑھاتے ہوئے پوچھا’
.نہیں.’ میں نے چھڑی دیکھ کر نفی میں سر ہلایا’
وہ سرخ رنگ کے پلاسٹک سے بنی تقریباً ایک فٹ لمبی چھڑی تھی جس کے ایک کونے پر چاندی رنگ کے پترے سے بنا پانچ کونوں والا ستارہ لگا ہوا تھا
.یاد کرو بیجو بابرا!’ چاچا جی نے مسکراتے ہوئے کہا’
‘جب تم چھوٹے تھے تو تمھیں یقین تھا کہ چھڑی کو اپنے ہاتھ میں پکڑ کر ہلانے سے تم کچھ بھی کر سکتے ہو’
.بیجو بابرا….؟’ میں بری طرح سے چونک گیا’
.گھبراؤ نہیں…’ بوڑھے خواب فروش نے میرا ہاتھ شفقت سے تھپتھپایا’
ہم خواب فروشوں کا اپنا قبیلہ ہے اور اس قبیلے کی یادیں اور خواب مشترک ہوتے ہیں. خیردین اور میں، ہم دونوں اسی قبیلے سے تعلق رکھتے ہیں
‘ہاں شاید …..’ میں نے سر جھٹکتے ہوئے کہا. ‘اس وقت مجھے یقین تھا کہ یہ جادو کی چھڑی ہے’
لیکن اب اس خواب میں تمھیں یقین نہیں ہے نا. لہٰذا اب نا خواب بننے کی ضرورت رہی نا بیچنے کی. اب مجھے چلے ہی جانا چاہئے
چاچا جی نے رندھی ہوئی آواز میں کہا تو میں بےچین ہوگیا
.نہیں چاچا جی، میں اب بھی خواب دیکھتا ہوں.’ میں نے ان کا ہاتھ پکڑتے ہوئے کہا’
مجھے اب بھی اپنے خوابوں میں یقین ہے. اور میرے خوابوں کی ابتداء انہی کھلونوں سے تو ہوئی تھی. اگر آپ نے خواب فروشی چھوڑ دی تو میری تو خوابوں کی اساس ہی ختم ہوجائے گی
مگر چاچا جی کا ہاتھ میری مٹھی سے ریت کی طرح بہ گیا. میں نے آنسو پونچھتے ہوئے ان کی طرف دیکھا مگر وہاں کوئی نہیں تھا
میں گھبرا کر اٹھ کھڑا ہوا. سامنے دو برقعہ پوش عورتیں کھڑی میری ہی طرف سہم کر دیکھ رہی تھیں. میں شرمندہ ہوا اور اپنے تخیّل کو کوستا کیمرہ اٹھانے کیلئے جھکا اور پھر ٹھٹھک کر رک گیا. وہاں جہاں تھوڑی دیر پہلے شہر کا آخری خواب فروش بیٹھا تھا، وہیں اسی جگہ، سرخ پلاسٹک کی جادو کی چھڑی پڑی میرا منہ چڑا رہی تھی
‘Golden butterflies are the people you love but whom you lose,’ the grandfather told his granddaughter, not knowing she was about to see her very first one. A poignant story exploring the profound relationship between a wise grandfather and his curious granddaughter as they wait together for rain on a stormy evening. Through their tender conversation about the “golden butterflies” – the old man’s metaphor for departed loved ones who return with each rainfall – the narrative delves into themes of mortality, memory, and the cycle of life and death. The grandfather’s gentle explanations about sadness, understanding, and the beauty found in loss create a touching meditation on grief and remembrance. This bittersweet tale captures the innocent wisdom of childhood confronting the reality of death, culminating in a deeply moving conclusion that transforms the granddaughter’s understanding of love and loss forever.
The sky was intermittently dark. Each period of darkness ended with a lightning flash. Each flash was succeeded by a deep growl up above in the belly of the clouds. The light breeze smelled of a subtle promise of rain.
The old man with his head full of bushy, silver hair, stood quietly in the verandah. His cloudy, brown eyes were open, but looked at nothing in particular. Instead, they were filled with the grey shadows of memories.
‘Grandpa! What are you doing outside?’ The little girl walked out in search of her old friend.
‘I am waiting for the rain, child.’ He looked at her, smiling with affection.
‘Why are you waiting for the rain, Grandpa?’ She was one curious child.
‘Because that is what old men do. They look at the grey skies and wait for the rains.’ He answered softly.
‘But it had been raining. It has just stopped.’ The girl motioned at the wet grass.
‘Yes, the rain has stopped, but it will come again.’ The old man said while looking up at the heavy clouds, ‘The giants are still here with their great bellies heavy with rain.’
The little girl looked up and scratched her head. Sometimes she failed to understand the apparently simple words of her loving grandfather. But still she loved him.
She loved his old man smell - the Old Spice aftershave and the bittersweet smell of pipe tobacco. She loved his old man face, with its countless deep lines and the bushy hair in bad need of thorough brushing. And she loved his old man talk, which was always full of memories and stories, and nostalgia.
‘Why do you love rain, Grandpa?’ She persisted.
‘Hmm!’ He thought for a while and then answered kindly, ‘Because they smell good, my dearest. They smell of wet earth and they smell of the circle of life.’
‘Yeah! They do smell of wet earth.’ She inhaled deeply. ‘But what do you mean by the circle of life?’
‘Once, many million years ago, the elements made love and water was born. The warmth of the sun killed the water, and its soul became the vapors. The vapors float upwards and finally reach the clouds. Then the clouds growl and breathe new life into the vapors, and the raindrops start falling. They fall, and the earth appears larger and larger with each yard that they fall. The drops fall onto the parched earth, and they form happy puddles. And finally, they wait for the rising sun to die and become vapors again. This is the circle of life.’ The old man narrated the tale slowly and deliberately, choosing the simplest possible words.
‘That’s sad, Grandpa. I don’t like death.’ The little one was quite sensitive for her age.
‘Death is not the end, child. It is the beginning of a new circle of life.’ He smiled. ‘The puddles evaporate. The vapors float back above and form clouds. Then it rains again. The circle is repeated.’
‘So they come back……….the raindrops?’ She asked excitedly, ‘They always come back. Don’t they?’
‘Oh yes, they do. They always do, child.’ He breathed with obvious relief at her happy excitement.
Both the old man and the little girl sat down on the wooden stairs and started waiting for the return of rain. He placed his hand protectively around his granddaughter’s delicate shoulders and drew her nearer.
‘Grandpa?’ She asked after a while.
‘Yes, child!’ He knew the question-and-answer session was not over. In fact, it was never over. But he knew she loved asking questions, and he loved answering her questions.
‘Do you love rains only because they smell of wet earth and the circle of life?’ She asked.
‘No.’ The old man smiled, ‘I also love rain because it brings along the golden butterflies.’
‘Golden butterflies?’ The little girl’s eyes started shining with interest. ‘What are golden butterflies? I have never seen one.’
‘Golden butterflies are the people you love but whom you lose somewhere on the path of life.’ The old man told her while caressing her shoulder softly. ‘Whenever it rains, the golden butterflies come flying along with the thick drops of rain. They play and dance in the rain, their golden wings gleaming with the moisture. And I watch them. In fact, I love the golden butterflies more than the rains.’
‘Why can’t I see them, Grandpa?’ She so wanted to see those magnificent creatures.
‘Hmm……!’ The old man searched for an answer, ‘Because you haven’t lost anyone yet, my love. But no matter how much I detest the fact, you will lose those whom you love. And they will all become golden butterflies.’
‘Does it make you sad or happy - looking at the golden butterflies?’ She asked.
‘A little bit of both, I guess. It makes me sad when I think of my loss. But it makes me happy when I think of the sweet memories we once made.’
For a few moments, they sat together in silence. Both were thinking of the golden butterflies and listening to the silence of the rainy night. The silence was thick. It was as thick as a slab of invisible butter. One could almost slice it with a blunt-edged knife.
‘Grandpa?’ The child gently pulled on his gnarled hand again after a while.
‘Yes, child!’ He patted her hand in return.
‘Have you ever observed that it grows very silent just after a rain?’ She looked up into his face and asked. ‘I mean, before the crickets start singing and before the fireflies begin their magic dance of lanterns?’
‘Yes, it always grows silent just after a rain.’ The old man looked far into the night. ‘Legend says that it rains when the gods weep up above in the skies. Maybe, silence is a mark of respect for the suffering of the gods.’
‘Do you really believe that, Grandpa?’ She smiled naughtily, and the old man chuckled softly in return.
‘No! Of course not, child. The gods never suffer. That is why they are gods.’
‘Then why does it fall silent just after a rain?’ She repeated her question.
‘I believe the silence is the world’s acknowledgement of the sadness of life.’ The old man said.
The little girl remained quiet. She did not understand the sentence, but she did understand sadness. She understood it through her grandfather. In her happy world, he was the only sad entity. But still she loved him because, despite his sadness, the old man never failed to love her.
‘Why are you sad, Grandpa?’ She asked him hesitatingly.
‘Because I have spent so much of my life, little one.’ The old man ran his fingers lovingly through her silky hair. ‘I have found out that life is sad. And with time, I have learnt to love sadness.’
‘Why do you love sadness?’ She asked, and her grandfather smiled. He was expecting this question.
‘Because sadness brings along understanding - the understanding of life and the purpose of life.’ He answered thoughtfully.
‘Why don’t you like happiness?’ She was always ready with another question.
‘I don’t like it because it dulls my senses and makes me numb to the pain of others, around me.’ He replied.
‘I don’t like happiness too.’ The little girl announced firmly.
‘Ha! Ha!’ The old man laughed and then grew serious, ‘First, you get all the happiness you deserve.’ He waved his index finger in front of her tiny nose. ‘Only then do you have the right to like or dislike it.’
Suddenly, a thick drop fell on the little girl’s forehead. She looked up. Rain was starting to fall again. She looked at her grandfather. He was looking up too. The lightning flashed and the thunder cracked. She moved closer to him for comfort. Thunder frightened her.
‘Grandpa?’ She asked in a small voice.
‘Yes, child!’ He answered while patting her little hand reassuringly.
‘Can you see the golden butterflies?’ She searched the rain-filled sky.
‘Oh yes! I can see them. I can see them all. They are all floating down, riding the thick raindrops and dancing in the rain.’ The old man said dreamily.
‘Is Grandma one of those butterflies?’ She asked.
‘Oh yes! She is the biggest golden butterfly of all - the shiniest and the most magnificent of all of them.’ He smiled sadly.
‘Say hi to Grandma from my side.’ She so wanted to see her, the most magnificent of all golden butterflies.
‘I will, child. I will.’ The old man said affectionately. ‘Now run back inside. Leave me alone with my golden butterflies.’
The little girl kissed the rough cheek of her grandfather and ran back inside. But before entering the door, she looked back at the old man. There he was, sitting under the pouring rain. The rain plastered his hair to his forehead, and the drops slid down his cheeks in torrents.
‘Grandpa?’ She shouted over the din of the falling rain.
‘Yeah?’ He answered without looking at her.
‘You know, I find rain very sad.’ She shouted, her eyes filling up with tears.
‘And why is that, little one?’ The old man’s question was almost drowned in the noise of the falling rain.
‘It is because rain hides your tears very well.’ She brushed her cheeks with the back of her hand and ran back inside.
It rained all through the night. For a while, the little girl watched her grandfather from the window. He kept sitting in the rain motionless. But he was smiling. She was almost sure of it. And she knew why he was smiling. He was watching his golden butterflies dancing in the rain. Then sleep came over, and she slept, dreaming of the love of her grandfather and the golden butterflies.
Morning came, and it was still raining. The little girl got up and looked outside her window. Her grandfather was still sitting where he was, the previous night. She hurriedly climbed down the stairs and ran outside.
The old man was almost sprawled on the stairs. His eyes were closed, but there was a most wonderful smile on his sleeping face.
‘Good morning, Grandpa!’ She lightly kissed his wet forehead. It was cold as ice.
‘Wake up, Grandpa!’ She shook his shoulder, and the lifeless body of the old man slid to one side.
The little girl knew something was horribly wrong. She thought of calling her mother. But something caught the corner of her eyes. It was floating above the rose bushes, gleaming in the rain. She looked closely and couldn’t believe her eyes. It was a golden butterfly - her first golden butterfly.
But the old man was wrong. The sight of the golden butterfly did not make her happy at all. Instead, it made her sad.